Axe Bitch Cunt

While some tribal ritual of coming to adolescent age involves the infliction of pain to the initiate’s body, in a strange country called Troller the ritual apparently involves something a whole lot more vicious.

Named after the way it is traditionally staged, the Axe Bitch Cunt ritual test the agility of young tribal men, who will try to copulate with Axe Bitch, and do his best to escape the axe once orgasm or ejaculation is achieved, as the Bitch will try to swing her axe and turn the initiate into a dick-less slave... 

Swing Da Axe, Bitch!

There’s A Reason For All This Shit

It does seem as if zealots always have an argument as to why all of the shit in life happens.

Why do natural disasters, killing thousands upon thousands of people, happen? Well, it’s because we are sinful and deserve to be reprimanded! 

Why do famine and war continue to plague the world? Well, it’s because we are sinful and deserve to be reprimanded!

Why are we always sinful and deserve to be reprimanded? Well, it’s because that is what has been written in the holy sacrosanct scriptures!

So, why is it written like such? Well, it’s because The Almighty works in mysterious ways, and you will be punished for questioning too much!

Fucking Zealots’ Ritual

Down n Dirty

It’s the fucking weekends. Hot, feverish nights. School dicks out on holiday. Drunk and disorderly. Intoxicated babes in silly short tights. Everything screams “homicide, please!”.

Yup. It’s time to get down n dirty again.

I love the fucking weekends...

Miss it Like Water

Some short, little things you just end up missing like water in a desert dust storm. Can’t believe my luck in finding these shits now...

Thank shit for the internet, and the great uploading son of bitches. Be burning some weed on a dead bitch’s eye socket in your honor soon, motherfuckers.

Miss It

Like Goddamn

Fucking Water

Satanic Air Radio

Since “air guitar” and ‘air bass”, and -heck- “air drum” are not so far-fetched nowadays, I thought it’s only proper to add another “air’ category into the vocabulary of the ever-gullible and tastefully demoralized 21st Century..

A new word that would have not been possible to conceive of if not for the superb banality of Joseph E. Aufricht aka Joe Aufricht aka Xaphan, high fucking priest of the Order of Dionysus Sabazios..

Be forewarned, this might not sit well with those faint of heart, stomach and brain.

Satanic Aufricht-ian Air Fucking Radio

What a Day...

Whenever a reasonably big burden that has kept one’s head buzzing with bloodlust is lifted, the thirst for some untamed prowling through the night just tend to get too much to bear.

It’s like an itch nothing can scratch, except for the warm and orgasmic sensation of the prowl and the stalking and the little prey’s gasp of unsuspecting excitement.

They all like the surprise, don’t they?

Still, it can all become mediocre, when one doesn’t have the adequate aural companion for the nightly exercise.

That would be such a shame

Zombie Paranoia

What a fucking delightful media hysteria this shit about zombie disease around the “West + Japan” has been. A few separate incidents of what amounts to cannibalism, and all of a sudden you got zombie paranoia going around.

Hysteria caused by disinformation or is it by plain simple dumb ass gullibility? 

Who the fuck cares, when all sort of violent shit could be stirred up by such urban Americanized clusterfuck...

Bring on the shitstorm!

Eyes of a Goddess

Why is it that the word “goddess” always gets related to curvy body, full lips, pronounced ass and all that shit but never about the eyes?

Think I have seen me some intriguing characters with goddess-like eyes. Those deep, mysterious and unfathomed stare that just ooze its way through your psyche like cold dagger.

It’s the kind of eyes that you’d want to keep, even if it means going against the owners’ will.

Steal those fuckin eyes (courtesy of stonerobixxx)

Never Too Old

Nope. You’re never too old to change your view of this pathetic life, or to change your taste of booze, preferred killing ground, choice of suicide method etc.

So why not change one’s perception of what particular color should be used on a particularly heavy, legendary, ground breaking Rock/Metal album? 

Just as well, perhaps one should also change the preference regarding what particular entity/entities a band’s name should refer to, when it is/was playing a particularly heavy, legendary, ground breaking Rock/Metal music? 

In that spirit, one should then perhaps be able to revaluate the merit of naming a band after a Roman citizen who was supposedly boiled in a pot and beheaded for his beliefs, and has since been revered as a patron saint of epileptics and depicted as a man who loves carrying poultry, on top of a green corny book.

It might also be a good time for one to start revaluating the merit of how a band named after a Roman citizen who was supposedly boiled in a pot and beheaded for his beliefs, and who has since been revered as a patron saint of epileptics and depicted as a man who loves carrying poultry, on top of a green corny book, released its legendary second full length with a cover artwork that is predominantly daubed in pink.  

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